My Prank Professor
by 18Cyber-Cat18
Summary: Lily has been challenged. She has to prove that she can pull of a few successful pranks. To put it plainly, all her plans for pranks suck. So she decides to swallow her pride and go to the one and only James Potter for help.
1. The Challenge

**DISCLAIMER: The day I my evil plan to take over the world succeeds, I will own Harry Potter. But until then, I don't. **

**Chapter 1:**

**Lily's P.O.V:**

It is all going to be okay. Breathe in, breathe out. Yeah, that's it, just calm down. Don't panic, it will all be okay, I will figure out a way. WHO AM I KIDDING! I know it's not gonna be okay. I am completely destroyed. Why God, why? Why could I not just shut my stupid, big mouth when there was still time?

It had all started quite innocently; I was just sitting next to the fireplace and doing my homework, when disaster struck. Ted Jordan came and plonked himself next to me. This had to be a bad thing obviously, I mean, why in the world would Hogwarts most notorious prankster -after the Maurauderer's of course- come sit next to me? I simply asked with my usual, "What do you want, Jordan?" And that was most unfortunately, answered with the two plainest words in English language, "A challenge."

"Hmmm... let me see, a challenge, how about you move your ass off _my_ couch. How about that for a challenge?" I said.

"No Evans, you see, I am in want of a proper challenge and a proper win too; that is why, I have decided ask the most obedient and non-daring person I know to a pranking challenge. So this is gonna be an easy win. "

Why the hell will I want to take part in a prank challenge? Have we both not been in the same house for six years? Does he not know me at all? I think he can take his dumb challenge and his even dumber face and go visit Azkaban. I was just about to tell him this, when the full meaning of the other sentences he had said, dawned on me.

"Non-daring? You think I can't pull a decent prank? Oh, you are so mistaken Ted Jordan." I said in my most threatening voice.

"Oh, I am sorry Lily, I thought you knew that you are a dried-up-old prune. I guess you didn't, but as I said you _are_ a scaredy-cat. You know, with the whole, 'I'm so sorry Professor McGonagall, I promise I won't be two seconds late for class ever again. I am so sorry Professor, I assure you there won't be any dust particles on my uniform anymore.'" He mimicked me in a high-pitched voice.

"I am not a scaredy-cat and I am most certainly not a dried-up-old prune. I am a _perfectionist_, and that day I was two _minutes_ late for class not two _seconds_." I finished in an angry huff. Ted raised his eyebrows at me and then I realized how ridiculous I sounded.

At that time, only two things came to my mind. One, I could throw my quill and punch him, smack in the middle of his face and then show_ him_, what a 'dried-up-old prune' looked like. Or I could accept the challenge, win it, and rub it in his face. In my messed up state of mind, I decided to do the latter. You see, at that time, it did not strike me that it was extremely unlikely that I would win; all that my brain could register was the fact that I had been called cowardly.

"You're on Ted. Get ready to get your ass kicked." I said using my scariest voice.

He laughed, got up and went over to tell his friends. Hmm, if I knew that all it was going to take to make him move was to accept the god damned challenge, I would have accepted it a long time ago.

Now that I look back at it, it is so obvious that I had been provoked. I can't help it though, I have this little problem called anger issues; yup, I am the usual angry redhead. Thankfully, I did not get too angry at that time, so as a result Jordan lives.

So now, courtesy Ted, here I am sitting with an empty parchment and a quill. I have come up with absolutely nothing. I am so gonna lose. Luckily, we have not decided the terms of the challenge, and what will be the punishment for the loser. Knowing Ted, it will probably be something hideous, like dancing around in your underwear, or requesting Professor Dumbledore to pose for Witch Weekly's swimsuit section. Oh, well better start brainstorming again.

...

If I thought that I in trouble yesterday, then I obviously did not see what today held for me. Somehow, the news of my challenge with Ted spread all over Hogwarts overnight. Seriously, sometimes I find the level of gossiping in Hogwarts a little troubling. Today, during breakfast a million, no wait, a billion people came and wished me luck. And even more people gave me sympathetic smiles and pitying looks.

"I personally think that everyone is over-reacting. I mean, how bad can it be? You lose, you do whatever weird thing Ted asks you to do. Big deal!" said Sophia, my best friend.

Sophia and I had met in my first day at Hogwarts, and we both had been joint at the hip ever since. She was the complete opposite of me. While I was always the perfect role model; she was always in some sort of trouble. I swear I would change my name, if anyone could tell me one, just one time when she had submitted her homework in time. Most of the time that she submitted her homework was just because I would pester her to do so, or because it was charms. Yeah, she loves charms and that is why she is Flitwick's favorite student. Sometimes even I had to go to her for help.

"But, just in case. If you die, I want everything you own." Sophia continued. I gave her look.

"Okay, fine; I want half of all your things then." She said with an innocent look.

"Thanks a lot Phee. Just when I was starting to feel better." I muttered.

We were walking down the corridor, when I spotted James Potter leaning against the wall waiting for us. I nudged Sophia, and we were both about to turn around when he called out my name. Great, just great. Just when I thought the day could not get any worse.

"What is this is I hear about a prank challenge between you and Ted?" He asked blocking our way, "You know, if wanted a _prank_ challenge, you could have just come to me."

"Potter, I just realized that I have dug my own grave and I don't need you to make my already hideous day any more hideous by ranting about how awesome your pranks are." I replied, "Now move over and let us pass."

"See you later Evans." He said. I was surprised, I did not expect him to comply so easily. I mean, he did not even ask me out once. "Oh, and Sophia, I checked, the muggle movie is not 'Iknow what you did last winter' it is 'I know what you did last summer." After saying that James Potter flashed us his oh-so-charming smile and walked away. Stupid Potter.

Sophia had discovered this curious habit of using titles of muggle movies whenever she could. I think this little habit of hers had come into being when she was spending summer with me. She was extremely fascinated with whole movie concept and had been glued to the television the whole summer.

"Lily, "said Sophia slowly," I have an idea, if you want to win this challenge then there _is _something you can do. But you aren't gonna like it."

"What?" I asked eagely.

"You won't like at all. But the thing is, this way you might actually win. There is the whole problem with the e-"

"Just say it." I snapped

"How about asking someone for help?"

"And who is that someone?" my eyes narrowed suspiciously, I could see where this was going.

"Ummm… James Potter?" she asked.

My eyes widened and gave her the dirtiest look I could muster. "I am not going to ask Potter for any kind of help; no matter how desperately I need it. Okay, and I don't even want you suggesting it ever again. Understood?"

"_Someone's_ over-reacting a little." She said rolling her eyes." Told you, you weren't gonna like it."

I had over reacted, and I know it. Just because the thought of spending even five minutes with that smug, conceited piece of toerag makes me shudder. Stupid Potter.

**A/N: So… how was it? Please tell me by reviewing. I know there was barely any James in this chapter, but I promise he will appear more in the other chapters. I know that there isn't any Sirius either, but trust me, he will be there in the coming chapters. Oh and REVIEW.**


	2. Notes and Conversations

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K Rowling does. Don't believe me? Google it…. (Which I don't own either. Google, I mean)**

**Chp-2**

It happened today. I mean, I was innocently walking to my class in the morning completely normally, not suspecting a thing. Then suddenly _*BAM* _the whole corridor was engulfed in pink smoke. Yes, _pink_ smoke. It took a second for me to realize exactly who was behind this. At first I thought that this was the lamest joke that Ted Jordan had ever pulled. I mean there was quite a lot of chaos in the corridor but it wasn't funny at all. It wasn't even clever.

Then the smoke began to clear. Now I was confused. If someone goes through the effort of creating so much of smoke, then why would they clear it themselves? There was no way the teachers could have come so fast. I mean, we were talking of mere minutes here. I realized that I was in trouble as soon as I regained my eyesight.

All the statues in the corridor- and there were quite a few- had been completely transformed. This was the bizarre sight greeting all the students on the corridor left to the potions room- The statue of the two gargoyles was completely green in colour and were wearing over-sized diapers, the silver knight of amour next to them was a sequenced yellow dress, and the tiny little stone wall on the ceiling was covered in graffiti. It wasn't very polite graffiti either.

The truth is that the corridor looked ridiculous. And that is the understatement of the year. I have to admit even _I_ felt like laughing a little. Anyway, I tried to pretend as if nothing happened and walked myself over to Binn's class.

Professor Binn started the class as usual despite the fact only about half the class was present. The rest of them came and placed themselves about five minutes later, and even then the entire room was buzzing about the spectacle outside of the classroom. In spite of all this commotion Professor Binn did not notice a thing and read his notes just as he did every day. I have no idea how someone can possibly be so oblivious to his surroundings but then again, Professor Binn did die about a hundred years ago.

I was happily sitting and taking some notes trying to block out the unpleasant memories of earlier today, when a piece of paper came and fell on my lap. I looked behind me and found myself staring back at the hazel eyes of James Potter.

I debated whether to open and read the note or to just tear it and throw it away. I decided on the former.

**So, still don't want help? **

These were the four simple words written across the piece of paper. Of course I need help, I need all the help in the world but I'd rather die than admit that to you Potter. Extremely calmly I scribbled across a reply:

No Potter, I don't want to give you any more reason to irritate me and considering the fact that I find it hard to spend half a minute with you, the odds of me ever taking your help are very slim. But still, if I ever have a change of heart I will definitely let you know.

He wrote back:

**Come on Evens****, I know you need help and you know you need help, so why the wait?**

I can't believe it. I mean, yes the chances of me winning are less but that does not mean that no matter what, I will end up taking his offer. He _is_ a known bighead though.

For you information Potter, I have lots of ideas as per what to do and very soon I will be working on them. So, contrary to what you think I do not need your help. Now stop passing notes and let me concentrate in class.

His reply came quickly:

**I wish I could believe that, but I can't. Don't worry Evan's, I'm on the rescue. Just wait and watch what I do.**

Lucky for me, as soon as I read that note, the bell rang. Honestly speaking, now I am positively scared about what Potter has got up his sleeve but let's just pretend as if that never happened.

***Page Break***

"Ugh, Phee it is so irritating, everywhere I go people seem to be talking about my bet with Jordan or about how awesome the prank he pulled today was. Do something, I mean you _are_ my best friend. It is your duty to help me out in situations like this." I said. Sophia and I were sitting in the common room on our usual seats by the fire, doing our potions homework. Well, not really; I don't think any one of us had moved past the first sentence on the oh-so-interesting uses of the cheering charm. Speaking of which, I really could use one.

"I have already told you what I think you should do in order to win but when I made my suggestion you were ready to transfigure me into a plum cake and eat the whole thing by yourself." Much to my chagrin Sophia and I do not have mutual feelings about James Potter; she actually likes him despite everything he does to me.

"Sophia, I _told_ you never to make that suggestion again but you still keep on repeating it. I mean, which part of 'I hate James Potter' do you not understand?"

"The hate part," she replied," he is not that bad you know, once you get to know him."

"Define that bad; because according to me it has been proven that he is an arrogant piece of toe rag."

"Whatever Lily. You know, I heard that Jamey Hudson has started a betting booth on who will win the challenge. I think has an entire chart and all recording everything, and all the odds of who will win."

"You have got to be kidding me. I know that everyone here at Hogwarts' makes a big deal of everything but don't you think this is too much? I mean a betting booth. Really?"

"Yeah, but you know it _can_ be fun." Sophia said with the hint of a smile.

"What do you mean?" I ask narrowing my eyes.

"Nothing, nothing." she said hastily, "Now, let's tackle all that homework."

Great, now I have to watch out for whatever crazy thing Potter is going to do and whatever my best friend meant when she spoke about fun. Just when I thought my life could not get worse.

**A/N: So what do you all think? Please let me know in a review. And as you all can seem to come up with a decent prank and need your help. So please, if you have any ideas about what Lily or Ted or James can do please, please, please let me know.**

**Thanks a lot to everyone who favourited, alerted or reviewed. Sorry for the late update, but I can't help it, I had a show last night and I had been practicing for it till eleven at night for the past week. Thankfully, everyone enjoyed it. :D I know that all this is still no reason for late updates and I would like to apologise once again. :(**

**Buh-bye…And Review**


	3. A Not so Peaceful Lunch

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

**Chp-3**

**Sirius' P.O.V**

"Agent Prongs, the switch has been made. They have not suspected a thing." I said into the mirror which must have been the sole reason for my survival during detentions. James and I had decided that it was time for our annual, back to school prank. This time though, we were doing some charity work alongside. After about a weekend of convincing James managed to convince me that this time the credit for the prank should not be given to the marauderers but to little miss prissy, Lily Evans.

You see the problem is she made some kind of strange bet- a bet that she will probably lose- and as a result the credit for managing to pull of the amazing prank will go to her. Honestly speaking, if you ask me then all of this, the bet and stuff is all her problem but given James,ummmm, little crush it becomes his problem too and as a result mine too.

Seriously, the amount of trouble James goes through for her. I don't lift a finger and yet every girl at Hogwarts is ready to go out with me; even though they it will not last for more than 36 hours. I mean, I can't really give all my attention to just one girl for a long period of time because then the rest of the female population will start feeling bad; I can't just deny the others the company of the one and only Sirius Black now, can I?

James can also get any girl he wants almost as easily as I do, but he seems so indifferent towards all of them. Last week in the library, Abigail Spence asked him if he would help her find her earring which she had dropped at the secluded corner at the back of the library-she was wearing _both_ of her earrings- and he refused saying that he had to go feed his owl. And get this, he does not even have an owl. I have no idea how he refused, I would have never done it, but then again I am not convinced that a certain bad-tempered, red-haired girl is my soulmate.

Seeing a passing house-elf snapped me out of my reverie. Yes, a house-elf. I am just outside the kitchen. You see, for this prank the mixed brains of James and me came up with one awesome idea: attack the great hall. After some careful planning we managed to enchant a whole lot of cutlery and make a huge switch. It is not as simple as it sounds though, first we had to steal the entire lot, then we had to figure out how to enchant it and then finally we had to replace it again. And we had to ignore Moony's disapproving frowns during all this, not to mention Wormtail's not needed help.

But the good thing is now that all the hard-work is done, we can just kick back and enjoy the show.

**Lily's P.O.V**

I know now. You remember that crazy thing James had been talking about. Yeah, well I know what that was all about. I have to admit, if I was in on the joke then I would be finding it funny, although the rest of the hall seems to be enjoying despite the fact that the jokes on them. This entire thing has been done on my behalf I suppose and because of that tiny detail I would have appreciated it if I had been warned of this beforehand. Maybe then I would not be covered in chicken gravy and rice.

Potter and his little group of attention seekers some how managed to do something to the spoons and forks and as a result, whenever somebody tried to eat from it the spoon would magically tip and the content would obviously fall all over your clothes.

The outcome of their little prank is that every one in the hall looks like a toddler who hasn't yet learned how to eat properly-_including_ the professors. Speaking of which, Professor Mcgonagall looks absolutely livid. I wonder if Potter is going to come alive out of this one, i certainly hope not.

Oh shit, I can see Potter waving at me. What do I do? I mean, for one I look ridiculous with all the food on me- not that I care about how I look in front of Potter- and secondly, that awful Sirius Black is with him.

"Hey, Evans. So what do you think?" James asked.

"You mean , about all of this?" I ask pointing at my food covered clothes,"You know i feel about all your pranks Potter, I do not need to repeat myself every year. And, I would have appreciated it if I had warned about this before since I assume all this was done on my behalf." I look around and notice that extremely conveniently Peter and Remus have not come down for lunch, I would have probably done the same had I known.

"Awww, come on Evans, that can't be all you have to say." Said James

"Evans, just cut the man some slack, why don't you? He went after so much of trouble for you." Sirius said.

"You know what, you both are _so_ lucky that I am controlling my temper right now because given a choice I will gladly hex you both into your next lives. So, a suggestion, if you want some praise to inflate that already huge head of yours, then don't come to me."

"But Evans, don't be mad. All this has been done for you. Consider this to be a token of my love for you." Said James with pleading eyes.

"Potter, don't you dare start off again. Can't you see I'm not in the mood right now? And if this a token of your love then you have a strange way of showing it. Your love, I mean."

"You know, you can be a little grateful Evans, I mean, if we were not here, then you would probably end up kissing the floor that Jordan walks on. Literally." Sirius said in that annoying voice of his.

"Whatever, I'm leaving," I said and made my exit. Don't get me wrong, I totally wanted to chew off Black's head back then but I couldn't help but see logic behind his words.

Accepting James Potter's help. I can't believe I'd stoop this low.

***********Line break************

**A/N: Two updates within five days! I can't believe myself . **** Anyway, hows the chapter? Let me know by reviewing. It will just make me smile! **

**Can't believe it, summers here! That means vacations. That's right, my holidays have begun. Now you all can expect regular updates. **

**Special thanks to padfootlover109 for her amazing ideas. I will definitely use them in the later chapters. **

**Oh, and REVIEW...**


	4. New Teams

**Disclaimer: I own the stars, the moon, the world and Harry Potter. Only I don't.**

**Lily's P.O.V-**

"YOU'RE FAT!" yelled James

"YOU'RE UGLY!" "YOUR HAIR SUCKS!"

"Oh no, you didn't!" said Sirius looking mortally offended.

This was my breakfast entertainment, my lunch entertainment and now finally my homework entertainment. It was amusing at first, watching the two best friends fight like little girls but now it is just a pain in the ass. I look around the almost empty common room; there were just seven of us. The Marauders, Ted and Sophia were the only ones there besides me. Sophia gave me an exasperated look. We were all sick of them. Even Remus had given up trying to sort out things between Potter and Black.

"Stop fighting, you guys. It hurts my feelings." Said Peter looking close to tears.

Yeah, like that's going to stop them. Professor McGonagall's thousand-and-one threats did not stop them so why would stupid Peter's stupid hurt feelings stop them?

"Hexing off Snape's nose was so lame." says Sirius

"Well, turning his hair pink was even lamer." Says James

"You think my pranks are lame? My pranks? I will have you know that my pranks and me in general are far superior to your pranks and you."

"Oh yeah, well I am better than you."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Whatever Black, you're on. "

"Are you challenging me?"

"If you had a brain then you wouldn't be asking me that question."

"Here's news for you Potter, Teddy here and I are gonna kick your ass."

Ted looked up at Sirius, confused, wondering why he had been dragged into this.

"Not if Evans and I kick yours first." James said.

"OH YEAH!" I said pumping my fist up. "Wait, what?"

Now everyone's eyes were on me. Mission accomplished. Not.

"Exactly, you have just dug your own grave," continued James with a sort of pleased, uneasy look.

Ted now chimed in.

"For some reason i fell strangely out of the loop right now. Maybe it is because I don't know what the hell is going on!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, we are just referring to the bet made by the two of you," James replied gesturing to me and Ted.

I was now officially too stunned to speak. I mean, forgive me if I sound a little whiny but I most certainly don't remember asking James and Sirius to join our bet. I don't even remember wanting to spend two measly seconds in the company of forever-awesome James Potter ( The excited fist pumping was just a sort of a reflex reaction and I can in no way be held responsible for that initial remark) and his oh-so-charming best friend. How their fight led to this agreement is also a mystery to me.

"It is so on." Sirius said

"See you tomorrow, losers." James said and stormed into his dormitory.

Sirius, Remus and Peter followed suite.

"So, I suppose the rules have slightly changed now Evans," said Ted.

"What, oh yeah, obviously James and Sirius don't have to do trivial, things like asking both of us if we agree to their convenient arrangements," I replied.

"But if you ask me things just got ten times more interesting over here," he said with an mischievous glint, "see you tomorrow Evans, better go discuss strategy with my new partner."

"Wait, so we both are just going to agree like that? I mean, - uh-."

Ted raised his eyebrows, told me that the real fun had just begun and that following the sacred system of democracy I had to agree to the new teams because it was three votes against one.

"Drat," I muttered under my breadth as he waved and went up the stairs.

"So, that was interesting," said Sophia who had been quiet all this while.

"Umm…what exactly was interesting?" I asked acting all innocent, "the fight? I suppose it was, James and Sirius biting off each others head."

"Oh yeah, sure that was interesting but even more interesting was my best friend being partnered with James freaking Potter."

The truth finally sunk in. I was going to be playing pranks with Potter for the next few months. Pranks which would most probably take lots of planning and preparing. Pranks because of which I would have to spend lots of time with Potter. I could see the idea of a fun, uneventful sixth grade go up in flames. Moral of the story: my life has just turned into a living hell.


End file.
